ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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