Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
