You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
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