Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
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