According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
