i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
