apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
