You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
