I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
