I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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