can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
handjob tips. give me some.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Randomize
