my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
