Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
We left the knife in your bed.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
