he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
