I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
