just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
