Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
