I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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