3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Randomize
