smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Randomize
