it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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