ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
