Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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