Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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