Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
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