The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
