On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
