so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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