just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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