idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
