this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
