I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Randomize
