I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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