I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
