Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
