holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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