2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Randomize
