what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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