i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
