my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
dude. I can hear the air.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
