Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Randomize
