i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
There was a lot of him and a little penis
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
