Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
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