how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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