worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Randomize
