I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Shame - the story of my life.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize