my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Randomize
