I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
