508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Randomize
