and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
