so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
