laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
