worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
