She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Randomize
