She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
