Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I came so hard my ears popped.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
