Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
