Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Randomize
