I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Randomize
