She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Also, beer. Big fan.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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